invite the moon to tea

overheard in dorm

2010-01-31T21:29:00.004-04:00

In my dorm room editing.

Next door is a girl with an annoying laugh. She laughs frequently, in short shrieks and hahas suggesting she is flushed, perhaps a little tipsy, perhaps just trying to appear fun in the eyes of the male visitor? It's only Sunday night...

The girl with the annoying laugh and her male friend enter the hallway.

The man comments loudly about a guy who dared another guy to swallow a goldifish. He says: "The guy says 'now what do I do?' and so he says 'spit it back up!'. And he did."

And the girl laughs with her annoying laugh, and expresses humble disbelief to her male storytelling hero.

She'd swallow a goldfish if she thought he'd be impressed, after all.

uneasy

2010-01-30T19:19:00.001-04:00

Some of the biggest academic successes I have are also some of my biggest regrets.

school time again

2009-01-07T01:54:00.003-04:00

One sister in her university-province; the other en route. A bus; a boat.

evening tripping

2009-01-07T01:25:00.004-04:00

Sometimes I forget I'm clumsy.

I was doing pretty good, then I nearly fell on a patch of ice in front of a fast food place. The next night I tripped on the way up the stairs inside the movie theater. Ah well.

various ocracies

2008-10-31T12:32:00.002-03:00

We're a feigned meritocracy and a failed democracy. So much pretense! But --
Feigned or Fiend? 'Demo' or demon?

Tread carefully, please, and form your letters with care.

unflavourful

2008-10-29T21:04:00.001-03:00

So, "unflavourful" isn't a word. Regardless, I spelled it the Canadian way. Points for that?

unfinished (to submit to sociology class)

2008-10-25T22:09:00.003-03:00

The weak urge
of a shattered man:
A desire to rewrite his song.
Their tears wiped with dollars bills
while they feed him stale seeds like a caged fox.
Sing it again, and make us feel. Such a mind!
But the song is unfantastical; lyrics are carved along his spine.
Sweat beads his back like crystals.

A dream --
No purple blood delirious
will smear leisure
on a sad sky.
"Let us out from our prison!"
they cry
in moon white symphony.

overheard in a hallway

2008-10-25T21:56:00.008-03:00

Dorm hallway. Girls leaving for the outside on a Saturday night. High-pitched voices chattering.

Did she say "You're such a nice person", or "They have such nice purses"?

Does it matter? Her tone was stock, unoriginal, unfocused. Her money was crisp in her wallet. Her breath smelled faintly of booze.

home for lunch

2008-06-11T12:48:00.005-03:00

The guy who lives downstairs drives up to the apartment building with rap music blaring. The red car wades comfortably through the early afternoon sunshine.

The only lyrics I caught that were spoken by the bouncy, bass-accompanied voice were "dental floss".

He sucks on a cigarette as he lifts two flat white boxes from the car, two pizzas. Actually, I think it is a pizza and garlic fingers. The horizontal stripes of his collared shirt -- which are melting into waves over his belly as he walks up to the door -- clash with the wide vertical stripe on his basketball shorts. He wears his keys around his neck and a toy skeleton hangs from his rear-view mirror.

His eyes -- squinting in the sun -- show focus, peering out over a rather bushy beard as he balances the pizza boxes with one arm and a small grocery bag in in the other.

The door slams behind him and my lamp shudders.

bilingual compy

2008-06-09T00:35:00.000-03:00

My computer speaks French.

pink elephant

2008-06-08T11:24:00.004-03:00

"It's been a long time since the book of love"; it's been a long time since the "bucket of blood". No matter, let's go to the circus.

You didn't notice the pink elephant in my eye?

it's a setup

2008-06-01T22:15:00.003-03:00

Dream:

"It's a setup, it's a setup!" Panic run. Burly arms cradle weapon. Sweat gliding down strands of frizzed hair. The machine gun run.

Basement hideaway. Safe and gloating. "Children, men, and then the women. Haha! I do things my way."

Hide behind a green Rubbermaid container and wake up.

bacon-wrapping

2008-05-29T23:07:00.002-03:00

I dreamt that I was bacon-wrapping onion rings. What a strange concept. I've seen recipes for various bacon-wrapped food items lately, so I suppose that is where the idea came from. The only thing is, bacon-wrapping usually means that the bacon must be kept fairly soft. When I eat bacon, I like it to be so crispy that it would shatter if it hit the floor too hard.

Still, I'm curious about those onion rings.

slovenian

2008-05-21T18:20:00.002-03:00

Apparently, I can write in Slovenian.

That's what my button mashing ("oafkjsg lkj ij di o j iii oij df ih odijgpso odhj f oiasdh i fiif poj dfoiuh iofgoij dfoi doi ggpiug idkjfnvkl8 brpkjab urjmfboieuhg df doij 8 pij") apparently resembles.

Check it out!

queit as a mouse

2008-05-21T15:04:00.002-03:00

"Quiet as a mouse" takes on a new meaning in this technological era. The computer mouse that I am using is emitting a low-volume, high-pitched tone.

feeding fishies

2008-05-20T20:06:00.002-03:00

Feeding the fishies. Crushed food flakes dropped under the motorized waterfall makes a foodstorm!

(Kinda like a shitstorm but pre-processed.)

7 %

2008-05-20T19:51:00.003-03:00

"If you are one of the 7% that would stand up for Him, forward this."

I'm not going to forward it. There's something about strange chain letter forwards which use guilt instead of Good News to make one feel like a good Christian. Some forwards make serious life commitments appear to be childish tag-you're-it games. It's almost depressing.

Nice thought, I suppose, though -- the message was wholesome. But there's something about it. Sure the anecdote was short and sweet, the sketch of some bearded guy was excellent, but the statistics took it a little over the top. Nice try. Seven percent, eh?

novel idea

2008-05-17T18:36:00.003-03:00

I peeked. I peeked! Why? I couldn't resist scanning my eyes over a few words... after all it's just a jumble of letters arranged like little birds. Does the order of the birds matter? I peeked! I saw just a few words, barely a sentence. And now I know. There is a secret in the birds. They know what happened but it didn't happen for me yet. It didn't happen. Perhaps it is still conditional for me. Au futur conditionnel? It is written. In text. Letters etched on a silkscreen backdrop, fibrous page, pixelated plastic. No matter the medim, the words exist somewhere. I will tell myself the source is unreliable. Then I will consider it still conditional, and read as though I had no idea.

engaged

2008-05-17T18:31:00.002-03:00

Boyfriend has been upgraded Fiancé several months back. Pretty good upgrade, I must say.

George Lucas

2008-05-14T19:26:00.002-03:00

Indiana Jones. In Diana Jones? Is that even appropriate? That's how it was printed on the sign at the movie place.

Happy Birthday George Lucas!

prefixes, rice, and a suffix

2008-04-08T00:30:00.003-03:00

You cannot get a PhD before you eat because then it will not be a doctor-ate.

I was unconvinced that rice milk would be an adequate substitute for dairy milk in hot chocolate. But it's not so bad. It's a little ricey, but so are some entire nations, and there's nothing wrong with that.

If I wrote it before I wrote it, then I prescribed it. If I wrote it before it happened, then I prevented it?

honourable coyote

2008-03-11T14:26:00.002-03:00

My developmental psychology class was given a lecture on stress last week, which included a story about a woman walking her dog. In the story, the walking pair unexpectedly encountered a wild animal during their adventure. Their stress dissipated when the creature decided to retreat, rather than to attack. Professor explains: "the coyote decided prudence was the better part of valour".

enough

2008-03-07T18:43:00.004-04:00

THAT'S ENOUGH! I'm am so frustrated. I'm sick of people not caring, not coping right and not being conscientious. I'm sick of badly overused and misused clichés. I'm sick of spelling errors on important things. (It's 'victim', not 'victom'. Get it? Fix the training manual!) I'm sick of smokers. Don't mess up the air I'm breathing, and don't waste public healthcare dollars because you prefer to waste your personal dollars on lazy, decadent, putrid sticks of rolled up addiction. don't borrow food from me if you spent a hundred dollars a month on an addiction! I'm not insensitive to your incapabilities to cope with your life, I am concerned. I lost my grandmother to her smoking addiction when she was only 65. Start smoking early folks! You'll look really cool when you finally graduate to a three-times daily breathing machine. Honestly, you don't have the right to choose which carcinogens I ingest. Cyanide, benzene and arsenic -- what, you think they were added for flavor? Somebody's cashing in, and it's not you! Grow up and smell the damn nicotine. Or don't, preferably. If you really want nicotine, buy an eggplant. Damn. And, the sign says don't smoke within 25 feet of building entrances. Obey that -- and don't lean on the damn sign! If I was in charge, you wouldn't be smoking, period. But I'm not.

Oh yeah, and the next time someone tells me that they're concerned with hurting my 'very leftist sensibilities', I'm going to tell you to bugger off. I never ever claimed to be leftist. Drop it already. I just try to like people. And while you're at it, put on a condom, give up the cola, and learn how to drive defensively. And stop smoking.

Christmas eels

2007-12-20T18:05:00.000-04:00

"If we could gather all the electric eels from all around the world, we'd be able to light up an imaginably giant Christmas tree."

we are connected

2007-12-09T22:50:00.001-04:00

We cannot survive inside a vacuum cleaner. You know, we never really are just ourselves. Each self is expressed somewhat differently with respect to the self's siblings, friends, parents, friends, rivals, enemies. We are not yarn, but we are a sweater one day, a blanket the next.

onions

2007-11-25T20:04:00.001-04:00

Apparently, you're not supposed to shred onions. It pretty much makes squirty onion juice, which may sound practical but is pretty much not. It's actually not that easy to sprinkle onion juice on flourly flatbreads before they go into the oven. It really makes you cry, too.

microsoft word

2007-11-21T22:37:00.000-04:00

I thought, for a flash, that 'confuddled' was a word.

But it's okay now. Microsoft Word was there to say I'm wrong once again. One of these days I'll have to disable that darn spell check again. Since when is Microsoft the king of words? Proper nouns stress it out, for spelling's sake! I've had enough of your squiggly lines for tonight! Mr. Word! Bahaha! Beware: your self-righteous grammar-fiendish days are numbered -- once again -- my dear program! Beware.

extend

2007-09-27T22:23:00.000-03:00

By extension our extensions extend extensibly.

fibre

2007-09-27T22:18:00.000-03:00

flax trip, oh!
blueberry wonders and we

are excellent poopers

that

2007-09-12T21:54:00.000-03:00

The word 'that' is like salt at a fast food restaurant.

But who says 'that' at a burger place anyway?

dusty

2007-08-21T15:05:00.000-03:00

Life is kinda dusty.

The verdict is... Fruichtable

2007-08-16T14:38:00.001-03:00

Tomatoes are fruichtables.

That is the logical conclusion of the fruit or vegetable tomato debate.

females

2007-08-09T19:55:00.001-03:00

I suppose that I think sometimes that perhaps that maybe it could be potentially possible that some females might be by nature or something somewhat snoopy on some occasions, once in awhile.

And she just may be the snoopiliest.

heroin, she said

2007-08-06T16:36:00.000-03:00

The candies actually tasted kinda throw-uppy, to be honest, but I couldn't stop eating them. They were addictive! I'll bet there's something in them, like maybe heroin. If I had to pick one drug to get addicted to, it would definitely be heroin, because heroin has the best songs.

Songs about heroin, check it out.

creativity, drugs and happiness

2007-08-01T11:14:00.000-03:00

Why does it seem as though a person cannot be truly creative unless they're on some sort of drug? Can one really claim full authorship on chemically induced art? Why do people scowl and ask "what are you smoking?" if you appear happy with no readily apparent cause? Just because I look happy when I am at work doesn't mean that I am happy in my head. But maybe I am. Appearing friendly is a courtesy and a part of my job. Duh.

Oh, and give it up with the "energy drinks" already.

sociable as a cat

2007-07-25T10:12:00.000-03:00

"You're about as sociable as a dead cat - with holes in it and everything."

Ahh. That explains it.

music time

2007-07-23T16:21:00.000-03:00

Michael Bublé's "Spiderman"
Styx's "Mr. Roboto"
The Muppets' "Mahna Mahna"

gummy bears

2007-07-23T16:14:00.000-03:00

"How many gummy bears can a kid eat before they go insane?"

(Bahaha. Thanks for that one.)

sunscreen

2007-07-18T19:02:00.000-03:00

He told me that sunscreen is a conspiracy. Note to self: that could make an interesting public speech.

I am a salesperson

2007-07-18T19:00:00.000-03:00

"You talk too much. You should be a salesperson."

I am a salesperson.

Nick Cave

2007-07-10T18:37:00.001-03:00

(An image I made using lyrics from a Nick Cave song and an interesting font that I found online.)

phone

2007-07-10T18:16:00.000-03:00

My phone is calling people. Serious. My sisters were both out at separate locales today and both left unintentional messages on the machine. As it turns out, both tried to call home but got no answer. Then the phone where they're at rings... and when they pick up no one is there. However, my phone records a message. Each message consisted of a few rings and then the person who had been trying to call picking up and saying a greeting, then hanging up because no one was there. It's very weird.

(Kinda reminds me of Bumblebee the Camaro from the Transformer movie who communicated through the radio... his vocal chords had been damaged. Maybe my phone is a transformer. I hope it's an Autobot because the Decepticons are scary. Plus, if it's an Autobot, maybe he can arrange for my boyfriend to meet Optimus Prime. That would be nice.)

forced phrase

2007-07-03T17:09:00.001-03:00

Phrase forced in a book, using glue and scissors:

Upon intriguedval at Nickly put a had the taxi drivers unernchey found Keant a piece as a small, dark, plea ant man about forty y age.

shopping, anyone?

2007-06-15T17:41:00.000-03:00

Why is it that they feel the need for malls and department stores and now the liquor commissions to be open seven days a week, but the library is closed on Sundays and Mondays?

facebook

2007-06-05T11:21:00.000-03:00

Not doing the facebook thing. So:

Delete, delete, delete. Ka-Pow!

treated

2007-06-02T02:43:00.000-03:00

They tret it like a giant locker.

Tret is now the past tense of treat.

ice cream log

2007-05-31T14:46:00.001-03:00

Thursday?? - Finished the container of mocha ice cream before I went away on a weekend trip with Boyfriend to visit his parents.

Friday - Stopped on the way and had Dinosaur Bones ice cream cone, and sampled Boyfriend's Twist ice cream cone.

Sunday - While there, had some Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream in a bowl.

Sunday- One the way back home, stopped and got Pink Velvet Blush ice cream cone, sampled Boyfriend's Dipped cone. Boyfriend's Brother and Boyfriend's Brother's Girlfriend consumed a Vanilla cone and a Dipped cone respectively.

Monday?? - Spoonful of Vanilla Frozen Yogurt at my house.

Wednesday - Strawberry Frozen Yogurt in a bowl.

Tuesday - Vanilla in a waffle cone with nuts and chocolate.

Thursday - French Vanilla ice cream in a bowl.

There has been a lot of ice crea in my prescence lately. But I'm not complaining. Though, I think that if I were a superhero, my weakness would be ice cream.

summer reading

2007-05-22T00:05:00.000-03:00

From Arthur Golden's Memoirs of a Geisha:

"When we walk along, we may crush a beetle or simply cause a change in the air so that a fly ends up where it might never have gone otherwise. And if we think of the same example but with ourselves in the role of the insect, and the larger universe in the role we just played, it's perfectly clear that we're affected every day by forces over which we have no more control than the poor beetle has over our gigantic foot as it descends upon it." (p.127)

"The moment I formulated this thought everything around me seemed to droop heavily toward the earth. Outside in the garden, the eaves of the roof dripped rain like beads of weighted glass. Even the mats themselves seemed to press down upon the floor, I remember thinking that I was dancing to express not the pain of a young woman who has lost her supernatural lover, but the thing I cared most deeply about." (p.380)

Lady Montagu

2007-04-13T23:13:00.000-03:00

Regarding Jonathon Swift and Alexander Pope, her literary rivals: "She told Hutchinson they were rascals, and 'shewed him her Commode, with false back of books: their works'. This arrangement, she said, gave her 'the satisfaction of shitting on them every day' "(quoted in Alison Winch's "The nymph grown furious, roar'd").

spam

2007-04-04T21:57:00.000-03:00

Sometimes, spam is funny.

"Hi from Melissa",
"keeping customers happy for years",
Must be good at what she does.
"Hi, it's luckky Kerri"-
"you've been picked".
"Deposit money and win"
Serious?
I could use some mega bucks, but
they offer "mega dik".
"I chaos mine rectify":
Thank goodness!
"Have my concur"
on "money for nothing";
"This is Magdalena Guy Sims, did you see this"?
No I did not. I was too busy
"in champion whom cancelled".
"Is because repelled"?
It just might be...
"How do you come off to women"?
I don't know, let's ask women.
"Man, I could go for hours with Marietta".
Good stamina, bud.
"Jillian says these are fabulous",
but so is the pasta.
"No cardboard go bushmaster":
"your girlfriend will love it."
Good for her.
"Let the big dick fairy bless you"!

a pile of shit

2007-04-04T20:42:00.000-03:00

The classic:

Three guys found themselves standing at the edge of a very high cliff with a magical lamp. The first guy rubbed the lamp and a genie popped out and said: "Greetings. I am the magical genie of this here lamp, and I'll grant each one of you a wish." The three guys looked at each other and decided they liked that idea. The mysterious genie continued: "Here's what you do. Get a good running start and jump off the edge of this here cliff. As you jump, you shout loudly the one thing you most desire, and you will land in a very large heap of it at the bottom of this here cliff. Got it?" The three guys nodded. The first guy went first (the very idea, eh?). He got a good running start and leaped off the edge of the cliff shouting "GOOOLLLLLLLLDD!" The second guy got a running start and leaped off the edge of the cliff shouting "DIAAMMONNDSS!" The third guy got a running start, but before he could leap off the edge, he tripped on a small rock and plunged forward over the edge. "SHIIIT!"

And on that note, here's a news piece from Beijing.

fruitless

2007-04-04T19:53:00.000-03:00

Yes, fruitless is a word.

decorum

2007-04-04T10:58:00.000-03:00

No decorum beyond pretension.
Or is all decorum pretension?

What is it really, that which we call honour?

(Yeah, I know that sounds pretentious.)

big red buttons

2007-04-04T10:02:00.000-03:00

Functionality becomes redundant in the bright splash of a big red button. Sitting in a white classroom listening to a discourse on the problems of man. The problem just might be celebrated in those buttons.

drinking fountain

2007-04-02T23:10:00.000-03:00

Here's my embarassing story of the day:

I bent to sip water from a drinking fountain and hit the button too fast - a full stream of water shot up my nose. Naturally, there were several silent, nearby observers. It could have been bad. I can imagine the headlines: fourth year arts student at local university drowns beside a drinking fountain. Sigh.

Oh, and in an effort to appear intelligent by contrast: this occurred near the washrooms which have the male / female signs, with braille, above the doors... about eight feet up.

Yeah, you just can't make that stuff up.

"But when you act, you take us away from the squalor of the real world".

untitled

2007-03-30T11:12:00.000-03:00

Maybe all I really need is a man with sensitive skin.

Thank you, Hunny.

She's created a monster! (Though not from scratch though, she sort of just developped it from an existing prototype.)

2007-03-29T16:18:00.000-03:00

I didn't think it could be done. R has turned into A. Cover your ears and your sensibilities, folks. (Actually, maybe not even your sensibilities, just your nerves.)

Let us all groan together: "Ughhh!".

I guess, every hydrant has its dog, and every dog has its day. Some days have one dog with many hydrants, and some days have many dogs with one hydrant. Some days just suck... not today, though, today's alright.

I suppose that there's a bit of an assertion inherent in the above - I suppose not every hydrant necessarily has its dog, especially if some days a hydrant shares a dog with other hydrants. Maybe for some hydrants, it only counts about one dog per week, or maybe one dog per hour. We can still call it 'day' though, but then day becomes p o e t i c and is a metaphor . And that opens the possibility that dog is also a metaphor. (And no, I'm NOT referring to promiscuity or bossiness.) Maybe hydrants are metaphors anyways. Maybe everything is an assertion. What do we know beyond what we know? Does knowing what we know we don't know even count? If I sound pretentious, tell me to shut up.

self-sufficiency

2007-03-29T10:52:00.001-03:00

Sufficiently self-sufficient?

Hungry. I think I should go forage a grilled cheese sandwich from the wilderness that is the kitchen. Actually, it's not really that wild. Maybe it would be with more planted plants, unless of course, seeing their cousins spinach and lettuce and tomato getting eaten would make a food preparation room a stressful environment for them. Poor planties. I never even thought of that. I guess it really would be a wild place. Scary, too.

percussive maintenance

2007-03-29T10:24:00.000-03:00

"Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr -" goes the machine.

SMACK!

" ...... "

"Percussive maintenance is always the answer."

Thank you, Tyler.

sexuality checked

2007-03-21T20:46:00.000-03:00

A line overheard in the computer lab (it seemed as though the speaker wasn't quite sure if the line made sense as he said it).

"He needs to get his uh... friggin'... sexuality checked!"

One might expect this to be a malicious line, but it was said to a friend about comment the friend had made at an earlier time, and the speaker looked kind of confused, almost embarrased as he spoke and afterwards, to the point that I almost wanted to give him a hug and go get him a few pamphlets on sexuality and sexual orientation from the campus' Diveristy Centre, because he obviously slept through those classes in high school.

teeth elastics

2007-03-21T12:43:00.000-03:00

Elastics make your teeth look s t r e t c h y !

the phillippines

2007-03-21T12:34:00.000-03:00

"Where's the Phillippines?" Seriously. Find them for me. "Check Asia."

photocopiers

2007-03-14T16:09:00.000-03:00

Grr.

Way back when I first started making photocopies, I told people that if not now, photocopiers would soon be able to retain an image of what they copy. People would say no, that would be im possible, because you tell the machine what to do. However, it seemed to me that there had to be some high tech way for service providers to monitor what sort of matieral was being reproduced, for the sake of copyright infringements, government conspiracies, monitoring the amount of copies that must be paid for, or for some sort of crime-reducing effort sort of deal, where you could hunt down criminals by finding clues for their photocopy paper trail. I thought it made perfectly brilliant sense, but most others thought that such would be first of all impossible, but also ludricrous, and invasive. (This was all in terms of public, not private, photocopiers, of course.) Ah, how times have change, and I AM RIGHT! We have the technology to do so, and the technology is currently being abused for identity theft. You can read the article right here.

Maybe I was some sort of paranoid kid?

squirrel overpopulation

2007-03-14T14:37:00.000-03:00

It's not just rats. Apparently, squirrels can carry the fleas that spread the bubonic plague. It says so right here.

organization mode

2007-03-12T14:00:00.000-03:00

Darn sick.

Lots of work to do preparing for the end of the semester. It can't be like the end of the last few semesters, I won't let it. I have been in secluded organization mode for the past three months, and now I'm moving into super-organization mode for the home stretch. I need to plan it well so I can have fun, too.

[This calls for another toasted tomato sandwich.]

macromolecular

2007-03-07T15:06:00.000-04:00

She's sooo...
-----------> m a c r o m o l e c u l a r .

{ Ahem. }

Clarification:She's just like one giant freaking molecule walking around unevolved into a higher state of being.

twenineteen

2007-03-06T15:58:00.000-04:00

Twenineteen. 380 or 219?

poffeffion

2007-03-04T16:30:00.000-04:00

Poffeffion. Just try to pronounce that, seriously.
Crazy olde English book.

permanent marker

2007-03-03T02:20:00.000-04:00

Permanent marker is mostly permanent. It's a good thing it's only mostly: some people's faces got accidentally written on. Worry not - I was but a mere observer. Canola oil, baby wipes, and rubbing alcohol allegedly will help.

It's almost morning already...

down for a bit

2007-03-02T22:00:00.000-04:00

I'm alright now.

Stomach was walking along a tight rope and teetering, preparing to plunge into the nothingness that wrenches the guts and invokes particularly angsty sort of introspection. (Though apparently, 'angsty' is not a word.) I'd been fine a short while before. I knew that I would be fine again, with some sorting - my thoughts were a tangled string. Sorted now - no longer knotted though there are some kinks in the fibers. I wish it had been merely a side effect of some reckless fun, say, too much wine, or some heavy shots, but it wasn't. The worst frustrations come from within. And, my head seems to be intimately connected to my stomach. A headache amidst what should be carefree: I gots ta get with ta program.

I think, therefore I am

2007-02-26T19:58:00.000-04:00

(The following is not a math equation, it's a thought train.)

"Cogito ergo sum"
I think therefore I am
eye think their four eye am
I think there, four a.m.
I think they're for a ham
I think .: I am
(I think .: I am) / I = think .: am
thought .: be
(noun) .: (verb)
[word] .: [word]
...just words.
"It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away."

Well. I guess then, if I don't think, then I ain't am. Somehow, René DesCartes' philosophy metamorphosized into the BeeGees. That's cool with me.

if the robots win...

2007-02-26T14:04:00.000-04:00

"If the robots win, we'll have to listen to techno." In the spirit of the midterm I wrote this morning for my Science, Technology and Human Affairs philosophy class, I present a video I found whilst innocently youtubing (you see, I had this bright idea that perhaps I could find some study materials for tomorrow's literature exam in the form of youtube videos... hey, I found a three minute biography thing that was somewhat useful...!) Anyways, it's a video done up with a Lite Bright (remember those?) which expresses something of a 'Neo-Luddite' (techno-pessimistic) view, according to what I have learned in my philosophy class. It's a video for a song by a band called Maldroid. It's called Heck No! (I'll Never Listen to Techno)

fish #3

2007-02-25T20:38:00.000-04:00

Ooh, found three of the seven magic fish so far in my fish game. It's actually not that easy. It is addictive however, though only sporadically stimulating.

Renaissance Drama email quiz volleying with my classmates in preparation for the midterm Tuesday.

Ah, the mysterious 'sixth normal form'. What a bugger! (As if I really know anything about database management systems.) Heh heh.

$5.91

2007-02-25T19:54:00.000-04:00

The number of the night last night was 5.91. It seemed like every second time I gave change from the cash register I gave out five dollars and ninety-one cents.

red on red

2007-02-23T15:26:00.000-04:00

For once I spilled red juice on a red shirt. I really did! Usually, if I wear black pants I spill yogourt on them. A light-coloured shirt? I'll spill fruit juice on it. Or chocolate ice cream. Or flyaway squeezelets from a fresh orange. But this time I did it. About a week an a half ago, actually. But I did it. I was actually quite proud of myself. Red juice... uh oh! and, là voilà! It disappears as it dries. Mind you, it was only a small speckling, not any large amount that this magical shirt had to contend with, but, nevertheless, I spilled red on red and it neutralized itself! (In a manner of speaking...)

poor little puppy

2007-02-21T08:42:00.000-04:00

My nose is cold. So is the puppy's. She's lying on the floor in the cold porch, near the door, waiting for any indictation of his return: she misses her papa. Ah, the sighs of a dog. She's got it rough.

Renaisssance, alchemy, pestilence, oh my! I'm trying to write a paper, and it's not even nine am.

aforementioned

2007-02-14T22:39:00.000-04:00

Wow. I just confused myself. I thought "aforementioned" was two separate words. But then I wondered why I never used the word "afore" before. Well, if I ever need a word to rhyme with before... I'll used the aforementioned word: uh, aforementioned. Yeeah.

dark chocolate confession

2007-02-12T15:17:00.000-04:00

I got hooked last spring. It was with Caramilk Dark. That was the starter. Then I bought another bar, Hershey's, I believe, at a department store only hours later. It was a few percent points higher in cocoa. From there, I tried for weeks to discourage myself from spending almost four bucks for a bar of dark, at 70%. I bought it eventually it was beautiful, silky, exquisite. Dark chocolate romance in silky Lindt squares. Ah, ah. Soon I hit the 85%. It was definitely intense, but worth the money if I only bought one once in awhile. I rationalized: a block or two of 70 or 85 percent was actually more satisifying than a whole bar of milk, unless I was in a milk mood.

Recently I came across 99%. I started salivating in the middle of the department store and was almost afraid to buy it. So I didn't. It would be like knowing the answers to every question in the universe but one. You could scarce get beyond 99% and if you did, it would hardly be a leap. I couldn't buy it. I had to wait.

So I waited. And waited. Probably almost two months. I tried not to think about it. I tried not to imagine what bliss really tasted like. Did I really need to know? Finally I went back and bought it. It was wrapped extra specially, and had a tasting suggestion printed on the gold foil interior wrapper. I took a tiny piece and placed it gently on my tongue...

First, nothing. Then, gross! The taste was too much and the taste I looked for seemed non-existant. It was like I had plucked the forbidden fruit and couldn't even savour it before I was forever expelled from the garden of curiousity and wonder and now stuck with nearly four bucks of the stuff. I tried several times to enjoy it, or even tolerate it, but I just can't. Neither can my sister, who had developped a palate for dark chocolate also.

I'd feel bad to throw it out. So I'll hang on to it for awhile. I suppose I could cook with it. That, and I know a guy who occasionally eats bugs. He also likes the soap gum and the icky candy that my sister discovered. Perhaps he'll develop a liking for the stuff...

Ctrl button

2007-02-07T23:01:00.000-04:00

Here is what I learned only recently. After writing numerous papers and essays, and writing and editing piles and piles and piles of newspaper articles over a three year span, I only learned this a few weeks ago. So simple, yet so useful. I'm going to type it here, because if I didn't know it maybe there are others who still don't know it. So, here it is:

To highlight multiple individual words or phrases at once, hold in the Ctrl button. It doesn't seem to work on blogger. But to try it, go to a regular word document. Pick certain words out from a typed passage and then hold the Ctrl button while you highlighted the individual chosen words, and when they were ready, hit Ctrl and 'i' at the same time. Now you have selected words and hightlighed them.

Man, that Ctrl button freaking rocks. And I don't mean pebbles, I mean like big slabs of graphite or something. Ugh. I can't remember the names of rocks anymore.

the butterfly effect

2007-02-05T13:50:00.000-04:00

If one tiny butterfly flapping its wings can cause a hurricaine on the somewhere on other side of the globe, then what's to say for flatulence?

Seriously, folks. Earthquakes and windstorms don't just 'happen'.

frozen pizza: spicy chicken deluxe

2007-01-31T22:36:00.000-04:00

The most beautiful frozen pizza:
Boyfriend is brilliant!
Apparently you can get a pepperoniless frozen pizza with spicy chicken and onions and green and red peppers. And no wretched pepperoni! Ooh, and a very flavorful herb crust. Fantabularific! (Did I just say fantabularific?!? Oh gee...). Anyway, it was delicious. And, I didn't even have to pick off pepperoni.

junction

2007-01-31T22:29:00.000-04:00

Recipe of Junction Algebra:

junction + junction = 2junction
[junction adjunction makes two junctions]

junction - junction = 0
[junction disjunction makes no junctions]

also,

junction with junction is junction conjunction

but,

disjunct ion is a malfunction junction

Ann Ireland

2007-01-23T21:59:00.000-04:00

Is there two of Ann Ireland? There's no way she wrote in the 1700s and in this century, unless- well... ooh, spooky... never mind. I got nothing. I think I just got confused. I read A Certain Mr. Takahashi this past summer, but I'm sure that I seen her name referenced as an author from the eighteenth century elsewhere. I should go look it up, later...

(Deleted cocoa study.)

sticky notes are brilliant

2007-01-22T22:54:00.000-04:00

"He's a liquorholic."

pay role sis tem sam pull day tah

Sticky notes are brilliant, that is, brilliant in terms of the definition which invokes a sense of the notion of clever creation and not insomuchas in terms of the definition which invokes a sense of bright colouring or shininess, if one even can grammatize shiny in that sense. Though, I do not use the word 'grammatize' with the intention to suggest that it is a feminine verb (which makes no sense in that usually only nouns are given genders, not verbs, and that in English words often do not have independant genders, obviously nonwithstanding words which describe genders, which, I suppose, still have no gender of their own, they are but mirrors in a world resplendent with objects) which has produced another which has produced another, in the mother factory sense. You know. Sticky notes are just awesome, but so is 70% cocoa dark chocolate. Ooh la la.

"Video-Game Characters Denounce Randomly Placed Swinging Blades"

2007-01-14T14:40:00.000-04:00

"A coalition of video-game characters representing the nation's leading systems appeared before Congress Monday to decry "the pointless, deadly presence" of spinning blades in video-game landscapes." Get the full story here.

bump bump bump

2007-01-11T22:01:00.000-04:00

I sometimes wonder if there is another way. I think that I have convinced myself that I am living as I should, but then I feel that I am moving too fast and doing it all wrong. I think that I get so caught up in living my life the way that I think I am supposed to, that when I see what I would deem as a "better way" for me, I get irritated, annoyed, agitated. Yet I keep on keeping on, without knowing if I'm going about all this in the way that's right for me, or if I'm enjoying it, or if I even chose for it to be like this. I would assume that one knows it's right when one assumes total (or near total) happy. Or maybe that's when we become truly crazy. it's difficult to step back and figure it out when there's no real time to step back and figure it out.

"Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin. It is, as far as he knows, the only way of coming downstairs, but sometimes he feels that there really is another way, if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think of it."

-A.A. Milne's Winnie The Pooh

dislikes

2007-01-11T21:46:00.000-04:00

I hate pepperoni, aLtErNaTiNg CaPs, and the word 'bitch'.

call to stop ruining a good word: random

2007-01-08T09:31:00.000-04:00

People have to stop overusing the word 'random'. It's a pretty decent word, but no one seems to know how to use it and so it gets used all the time around here by everyone, it seems, and rarely correctly. Stop ruining the word, folks. It's driving me bananas.

Silent Christmas

2006-12-24T13:14:00.000-04:00

Last paper passed in Monday the 18th.
Tuesday to Saturday SleepWorkSleepWorkWorkSleepEtc session begun the next day, between two jobs. Hurrah for retail: I sell shoes and booze.
Day off today to finish preparing for Christmas.

Getting sick, lost my voice. No talkie pour moi.

catching a breath

2006-12-17T21:29:00.000-04:00

Ugh. Finishing the last paper. Barely scraping against the moved deadline. Then, it's time to work at my jobs, and then Christmastime.

Boyfriend gone home for the holidays, Friend also gone back to her home in the States for the break, and Otherfriend returning from studying in Japan.

Cold basement hands typing
Focus shifting from
fish to food to finishing a paper
snow absent in the present chill

Donairs for supper!

papers and exams

2006-12-07T15:25:00.000-04:00

Christopher Marlowe group project? Submitted.

Poetry portfolio? Submitted.

Paper on the use of scatological satire in the writing of Jonathan Swift, paper on gender rhetoric in information technology, and three exams? NOT DONE. Gah.

More pita pizzas!

custom sub restaurant

2006-11-26T20:41:00.000-04:00

Maybe someday I'll open a pizza shop with an extensive variety of toppings to choose from. Custom pizza toppings. Except pepperoni.

When I was younger, I considered the idea of a customized sub restaurant. That's been done, though. Of course, my sub restaurant idea was better, but whatever. Someone's making money.

Crunch time: exams, papers, group projects. Renaissance Drama group project due Thursday.

ouch

2006-11-23T23:01:00.000-04:00

Ugghhh! I hurt. I think I pulled a muscle somewhere near my back but not quite my back. Know why? Because I SNEEZED! I felt a really powerful sneeze threatening to surface while I was driving on the highway. I braced myself because I could tell it was going to be a doozy. As a result, I pulled a muscle or something. Whatever it is, it is extremely not cool. I gave in and took a Tylenol, but only because I got more stuff to do before going to bed. Lots going on tomorrow.

I don't know why I always hurt myself in stupid ways. Get this: I broke my arm by falling off a swing when I was 5. I wasn't swinging high, I just reached to scratch my knee and BOOM. Ouch. And I have a small scar on my knee from the time I was rushing to catch the bus to school in high school and tripped and landed on the pavement because my shoe wasn't tied well. Tore a hole clean through the thickest pair of jeans I owned right to my knee, scraped my hands too. I also recall kneeing myself in the face. I was probably ten. That wasn't so bad, just embarassing. I don't even understand that one.

time for schoolwork

2006-11-20T10:33:00.000-04:00

Hooray for surprise shifts at work. Three in a row.

Horray = Hooray ?

List of disks in my fist.

curly hair

2006-11-20T10:11:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I accomplished Curl.

Well, nearly. Enough anyways. Inadvertently too. I had my hair up in messy bun for a few hours, and when I let it loose, voilà! Body, style and curl! Bouncy brown happiness that barely brushed the tops of my shoulders. I was incredibly pleased with myself. It wasn't perfect, but it was definitely impressive. What an achievement! I was tempted to pull out the hairspray, even though that probably wouldn't hold very long. That's the other thing: aside from my hair being both not curly and not straight, it also doesn't hold much style. Even with heat or sprays, any gravity defying style generally falls apart quickly. The last time I tried to curl it with a curling iron, the hair on the right side of my head had gone almost flat before I finished the left side. I'm not even sure if hairspray would have helped in that instance. Although, apparently there are curling irons with extra high heat for better hold. I've seen that in straighteners. Quite useful. Maybe that's all I need.

Oh, and yesterday? I proudly presented my 'do to my younger sister, and she said it wasn't curly. Apparently the technical term is "ponytail kink". Curly enough, said I.

cell phone + computer lab = no

2006-11-15T13:29:00.000-04:00

Why do so many people answer their cell phones in quiet computer labs full of people trying to work, and keep a conversation going? It seems to me that there are three options:
1. Don't answer.
2. Answer, talk QUIETLY and end the call within 90 seconds or less.
3. Leave the room to talk on your phone.

Absolutely DO NOT:
-Gossip loudly
-say "...oh nothing much, I'm just in the computer lab" and continue talking.
-plan your evening at length.

I've been in a computer lab a few times lately when people get phone calls. One where the girl LOUDLY gossipped and made arrangements to meet a friend. That's nice, but I'm here to work. You may have paid for your phone and a phone plan, but I came to this QUIET, internet accessible room to get some work done. I have so far managed to NOT say anything, but one of these times, I'm going to just tell someone to shut up.

free gas for a year

2006-11-08T22:17:00.000-04:00

Free Gas for a Year, eh?

Well. If I really wanted free gas for a year, I'd stock up on canned beans. Screw you and your ne'er-can-win contests.

Back to Renaissance Drama!

organizing my week

2006-11-07T23:33:00.000-04:00

No time for dancing tonight, just some well-intentioned stretching. Instead, an essay: Do ecosystems and species have rights? Tomorrow night, an English critique. Thursday night: prepare for Friday's labs; also, finish rhetoric paper on the cultural expression of websites if I am sufficiently motivated. Or, read Oroonoko for other English. Maybe both. Hmm...

I feel organized already. Ish.

Shiny silvery portfolio for natural science = the very one I used for science in grade 2. That's like, a million years ago. Or, maybe like fourteen. It still says 'science' on it. I've used it a few times over the years but it goes mysteriously missing occasionally. Must be magical. Everything shiny is magical, isn't it? Even fish, the shiny ones. Especially the shiny ones. Except when they have already been eaten by other fish. Then they're dead. There's not much that's magical when a fish is already dead. Except the memory of the magic. Which is only magical by extension. Or, you could call memory magical, considering it's not entirely explained. Here's a magical memory: I remember being very young and feeding bread to ducks at the park. I was one year older than my sister, who was young enough to be pushed around in a stroller. When we looked the other way breifly at the ducks (and some evil swans) my sister started to eat her duck bread. It was funny but my magical memory only retains the knowledge of it in semi-fluid snapshots of images and laughter. And blue and white. And brown.

Yeah, I'm definitely stalling.

busy world

2006-11-06T14:31:00.000-04:00

busy world
By tiffany briand

hubble is over algeria now
and the sun is overhead
it's almost time for class
and somewhere in someone's living room
a giant cactus is growing
and being famous
but more respectable
than most unmoving celebrities

exodus wants to be read
but there is an orb
on another page
waiting to show the future

the clock is ticking
backwards
forwards
who can tell
hubble crosses the border
over niger
and ventures into chad
and yet i cannot see
where i am going
but i think it is
another building
that i should be in
with two pages that i printed
to be delivered
to the place
that i must be
in eight minutes
seven minutes
six

nothing is happening
in the world today
my eyes are tightly closed

invite the moon to tea

2006-11-05T13:39:00.000-04:00

When The Runner-Ups were playing shows (me = keyboard, vocals) we made a song called Arsa Major. I wrote and sang the lyrics to this song, which is, consequently where this blog's title "invite the moon to tea" came from. The written down lyrics are what is sung, and then the next part is spoken, and I improvise it every time, so it changes depending on my mood and what Sean did with the guitar and Greg withthe drums. Perhaps sometime I will add in here a sample of the improvisation part. Below are the stable lyrics, with Greg's annotations.

Arsa Major

[...and she sings...]

cherry pie
smoke in your eye
turnip leaves and greensleeves

you know
to make it fun
invite the moon to tea

banana peel movie reel
mona lisa grin

absent absinth
mister man will kick you in the shins

underground weatherman
tornado soup for supper
supersized alphabet
january's mother

hangman sits
on the corner with Jack
beggin' life to take him back

blue sky pancakes
leftover sins
out in the evening
morning again

cherry pie
smoke in your eye
turnip leaves and greensleeves

[... and she says...
Improv vocals that make you trip balls.]